| An unfortunate circumstance | |
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+7ADMIN Chard1879 lionshead 90th 6pdr Chelmsfordthescapegoat Frank Allewell 11 posters |
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Frank Allewell
Posts : 8572 Join date : 2009-09-21 Age : 77 Location : Cape Town South Africa
| Subject: An unfortunate circumstance Mon Dec 23, 2013 6:11 am | |
| So there I was happily working in the garage, mending the smallest of my youngest daughters broods rocking horse, trying desperately to ward the little bugger away from the tools when the cat jumps on the workbench deciding THIS is the exact moment for sharing a bit of love. I really do love my cat, he spends most of his day sleeping next to my computer, and laying on my right arm. Most of the night time he devotes to bringing in presents for me from the garden, Chameleons and various size rodents, plus the occasional snake or two, and then announcing the offerings in a very loud manner. But in the middle of a very complex piece of multi tasking ( my normal multi tasking stretches to laying on the couch, drinking a beer and watching rugby ) is not the right occasion for a purring intrusive mass of ginger tom. The glue gets dropped, the grandson cries because I said a naughty word, I get flustered, the cat makes a sizable contact with a flailing appendage and flies across the garage just as 'she who must be obeyed' decides to enter, she trips over the cat, screams horribly and collapses. So three hours in the local emergency room (No free medical in South Africa Im afraid) and a disgustingly high Bill later SHE is ensconced on the lounge settee, left ankle highly strapped up in plaster, issuing instructions every 15 seconds and treating all and sundry like brain dead servants and running me to the virtual state of exhaustion the upcoming holiday is cancelled. So that gentlemen is why Im spending Christmas and New Year in Cape Town instead of meandering around the Battlefields and getting obscenely drunk with my friend Charles at the Rorkes Drift Hotel. 'Sigh' Have a great Xmas every one. |
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Chelmsfordthescapegoat
Posts : 2593 Join date : 2009-04-24
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:24 am | |
| Per-planned to stop you going! |
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Frank Allewell
Posts : 8572 Join date : 2009-09-21 Age : 77 Location : Cape Town South Africa
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:29 am | |
| You don't mean...................... a conspirital Pussy? The mind boggles |
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Chelmsfordthescapegoat
Posts : 2593 Join date : 2009-04-24
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:05 pm | |
| Pussies can get you into a lot if trouble? They can turn your life around. |
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6pdr
Posts : 1086 Join date : 2012-05-12 Location : NYC
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:14 am | |
| Frank,
Sounds like you'd better get obscenely drunk with somebody over the coming week or two, or else the cat may come to a bad end. I hope you get luckier soon, or your wife gets sick of seeing you and your feline friend both skulking about the house to no good purpose.
- 6pdr |
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90th
Posts : 10909 Join date : 2009-04-07 Age : 68 Location : Melbourne, Australia
| Subject: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:34 am | |
| Hi Springy . I didnt think ' you know who ' was overly keen to go on the trip , but what a way to get out of it ! Full marks for invention ! , I dip me lid as they say ! Have a wonderful xmas and new year Springy 90th |
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Frank Allewell
Posts : 8572 Join date : 2009-09-21 Age : 77 Location : Cape Town South Africa
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:36 am | |
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lionshead
Posts : 46 Join date : 2013-01-06
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 9:49 am | |
| Is the cat alright? Merry Chrismas |
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Chard1879
Posts : 1261 Join date : 2010-04-12
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 10:14 am | |
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Frank Allewell
Posts : 8572 Join date : 2009-09-21 Age : 77 Location : Cape Town South Africa
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:51 am | |
| Situation report The cats fine but studiously ignoring me. The wifes broke a leg and isn't ignoring me. No NH Chard. Im an exhausted nervous wreck If a fat Reindeer boning red jump suit wearing barrel of laughter Yo Ho Hos his way down my chimney tonight I will shoot the bugger. And exile his reindeer to the Falklands ! |
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ADMIN
Posts : 4358 Join date : 2008-11-01 Age : 65 Location : KENT
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:53 pm | |
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Dave
Posts : 1603 Join date : 2009-09-21
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:44 pm | |
| Question? Christmas Dinner!
Why do women get so angry when cooking Christmas dinner. I offered to help, because for some reason they like to prepair everything on Christmas eve. Only to be told to get out the kitchen, "your in the way!" then when I left the kitchen I get accused of not helping?
They make such a fuss, as though it's the hardest job in the world. Everything is ready to go. All they have to do is put the food in the oven, or onthe gas hobs, the cooker does the rest. And let's face it what's the real difference between Christmas and Sunday dinner. You don't have Christmas Crackers with the Sunday dinner.
So here's the question, do I stay and get accused of everything that goe's wrong, or do I get my coat on and go down the pub and suffer the consequences on my return.
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Frank Allewell
Posts : 8572 Join date : 2009-09-21 Age : 77 Location : Cape Town South Africa
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:06 pm | |
| The Pub mate but cover your bets, on the way out pop your head round the door and casually ask if she wants to join you then before she can answer wave and run. |
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Chelmsfordthescapegoat
Posts : 2593 Join date : 2009-04-24
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:20 pm | |
| It can't be easy! Drive the wife to the supermarket. Push the trolley, while she fills it. Turkey. Lamb. Bagged frozen Roasts spuds. Bagged frozen sprouts. Bagged frozen Yourshire pudds. Bagged frozen peas. Bagged frozen carrots. Couple of oxo cubes. Boxed prepaired Christmas pudding. Sachet of Brandy sauce. Push trolly to check out ( We pay ) Home. Carry shopping indoors Put shopping away. Nagging. Cooking. Chuck the Turkey & Lamb in cooker Gas mark ( whatever ) wait till red light goe's put! At a precise time add bagged roast potatoes Put frozen Vegas into saucepans put on gas hobb. Christmas pudding Microwave add Brandy sauce. Chuck dirty plates ect into dish washer job done. The hard work is all in their imagination. The nagging is natural! Agree with Springbok. Get your coat! |
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Dave
Posts : 1603 Join date : 2009-09-21
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Wed Dec 25, 2013 9:41 am | |
| It worked, had a great time down the local. She hasn't said a word to me since coming home? Peace on Earth good will to all men! |
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old historian2
Posts : 1093 Join date : 2009-01-14 Location : East London
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Wed Dec 25, 2013 2:35 pm | |
| My wife did an excellent job, as normal! Everything was perfect! |
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Dave
Posts : 1603 Join date : 2009-09-21
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Wed Dec 25, 2013 2:53 pm | |
| In that case Old H I'm coming around yours next year! |
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Frank Allewell
Posts : 8572 Join date : 2009-09-21 Age : 77 Location : Cape Town South Africa
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 4:12 am | |
| Good news for the New Year. Managed to pick up a couple of flights to Natal. So instead of spending a few days driving up there we are leaving tomorrow to spend a few days at the Rorkes Drift Hotel.
Cheers |
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lionshead
Posts : 46 Join date : 2013-01-06
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 4:28 am | |
| Lucky you, have a great time, i am off to work in about 20 mins. time ! Happy New Year. |
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Chelmsfordthescapegoat
Posts : 2593 Join date : 2009-04-24
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 9:48 am | |
| - springbok9 wrote:
- Good news for the New Year. Managed to pick up a couple of flights to Natal. So instead of spending a few days driving up there we are leaving tomorrow to spend a few days at the Rorkes Drift Hotel.
Cheers HOW'S THE WIFE! Is she better! That's what I thought the good news was. |
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90th
Posts : 10909 Join date : 2009-04-07 Age : 68 Location : Melbourne, Australia
| Subject: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 9:55 am | |
| Very good ctsg ! :j 90th |
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Frank Allewell
Posts : 8572 Join date : 2009-09-21 Age : 77 Location : Cape Town South Africa
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:18 am | |
| Oh yes, shes coming as well. |
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Mr M. Cooper
Posts : 2591 Join date : 2011-09-29 Location : Lancashire, England.
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:34 pm | |
| Dave hit the nail on the head. When I used to offer a helping hand in the kitchen I got 'the look' and the "don't touch anything" or "you're in the way, under the feet, shoo, get out", then would get accused of sitting on my backside watching the goggle box while she 'slaved' in the kitchen. I took to going down the pub only to get a lecture when returning home later in the evening rather worse for wear and with my speach unintelligible, only to sufffer 'the treatment' and silent meals and the looks of disgust for days on end. In recent years, and because I am the better cook (although she won't admit it), I decided that it would be me who made the Christmas feast. I can prepare the food and also have a glass of whatever takes my fancy beside me in the kitchen, I can also keep checking on the telly and my computer while the food cooks, and then dish it out when it's all done. The food is cooked to perfection, and she gets a little rattled because I make it look so easy, whereas she would be hopping about like a cat on a hot tin roof and getting her hackles up at the slightest little thing. Women,,, Don't you just love them!!!! |
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littlehand
Posts : 7076 Join date : 2009-04-24 Age : 56 Location : Down South.
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:54 pm | |
| I'm the same as Martin. I cook the dinner. Of course the cats out the bag, it's so easy to cook the dinner effortless. I give my wife a large glass wine, and the remote. 20 mins later she's asleep. Let the cooker do the work, layup the table, take control of the remote job done! Happy Christmas. Then I let her know how hard I have worked cooking the Christmas dinner, while she slept. Springbok wife when with him keeping an eye on him. He hasn't quite cracked it like us Brits! |
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Mr M. Cooper
Posts : 2591 Join date : 2011-09-29 Location : Lancashire, England.
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 6:13 pm | |
| Spot on LH. Isn't it great when they eventually conk out and the remote comes back to it's rightful owner Sometimes the problem is trying to get her to conk out. Do you use a sleeping powder in her glass LH? |
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ADMIN
Posts : 4358 Join date : 2008-11-01 Age : 65 Location : KENT
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 7:28 pm | |
| An old wooden mallet does the job! |
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6pdr
Posts : 1086 Join date : 2012-05-12 Location : NYC
| Subject: Re: An unfortunate circumstance Sun Dec 29, 2013 9:28 pm | |
| - springbok9 wrote:
- ...we are leaving tomorrow to spend a few days at the Rorkes Drift Hotel.
All's Well the Ends Well. |
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Mr M. Cooper
Posts : 2591 Join date : 2011-09-29 Location : Lancashire, England.
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| An unfortunate circumstance | |
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